Good morning guys, I know it's been a while, and I'm sure you're expecting the same usual BS. Well, that's good because that's really all it is. (Enter shameful emoji)
Today's post is brought to you by an experience I've been having in my Intro to Cultural Diversity lecture class. I can only hope that my writing is getting better as time goes on; however, being that I keep taking such huge hiatuses, it may be getting worse. But this post is mainly to get my thoughts out, however crude they may be, and hopefully get some feedback or answer my own questions.
I have an 8 AM lecture class that is required for my minor in Sociology and required for most other people's majors and minors, whatever they may be. In difference to some others, I actually find this course interesting, which I assume should be important if it is related to your choice of field. I actually care about what the professor is talking about and find the information interesting and engaging from time to time. Now, because I'm saying that I find the topics interesting doesn't mean that I don't find some parts uninteresting and boring. To all wide range courses, there are parts you like and dislike. In general, I think there are parts of things that you like and dislike, but you have to take the good with the bad. In fact, this course was going to be the deciding factor on if I was going to keep sociology as my minor because I didn't find the first course I took, Intro to Sociology, that interesting. It turned out to be my professor that I found less interesting than the course itself, which is good because it means I have a good professor this semester to keep me engaged. The problem this semester lies with this insanely rude student in the class.
This is a class of AT LEAST 100 students! The fact that ONE student could annoy me this much is insane! I never used to notice him until after he presented his project with his group. His group's topic of choice was nothing interesting and his performance was dull to say the least. What made him stand out to me was that he was obviously gay.
People like this always stand out to me because of their strength and their egos. They stand out to me because despite what the general population of males may think about guys who are flamboyant and for lack of a better term shoot rainbows or a purse falls out when the talk, they stay true to who they are and they do it with pride. This guy in particular where's the tight skinny jeans, the long, flowing cardigans, talks in a very effeminate voice, and paints his nails. I think the nails is what caught me right off the bat.
I remember painting my nails when I was little. I thought I looked soo cool. My older sister and mom did it, so I thought I would be just like them. And then my parents seen what I had done. My parents were obviously disapproving and made me take it off immediately. I never cared about it much growing up, it was just one of those things we did when we were little and got in trouble and never bothered with it again. I don't think about it now and I'm not jealous of the kid that wears it, I'm just proud of him for wearing it outright and proud.
So why does he bother me? No doubt he made me proud and made me feel like I wasn't alone. He stood up against stigma and fought it off of him. He stays himself among anything else. Why does he annoy me to my last nerve? Because of the rest of his character.
Ever since I noticed him that day, EVERY time I'm in class, I know he's there. Not because I can see him, and not because I find him attractive. (Gross) It is because I can hear is rude, obnoxious ass.
Every class period, this guy is fucking belching up a storm and talking over the professor about the STUPIDEST shit! He'll be complaining, or talking about what he's doing or what he would want to be doing, or gossiping, or talking about someone, and those kind of people aggravate the SHIT out of me!
It would be one thing if I only heard him or he only annoyed me whenever I had to sit near him, but he's obnoxiously annoying from everywhere in the room! He always sits in the back left corner of the room and his voice just fucking travels; mainly because everyone else is fucking quiet. One day, I had to sit next to him because I was already late and I didn't want to be picky on where I sat, so I sat next to him and a friend of mine who is friends with him. I never wanted to hit someone as bad as I did that morning.
This guy kept fucking complaining that he was getting sick, and then how he was going to shop online, asking our mutual friend if she liked the sweater he was going to buy, and why he should get it, and other clothes that were ugly, and how he wanted to go get coffee. I shit you not, this is the short list of what he actually did. What made it all so much worse was that he knew he was being obnoxious, and he was feeding off of it.
Today was just as bad, if not considerably worse. Today, the professor won't off lecture and started to talk about an experience that had touched him personally about genocide. He went on about the topic and even broke down and started crying because of how strongly this topic meant to him, and the kid was still being obnoxious and whatnot. I was unbelievably infuriated that the kid could not even hold himself together while the professor is pouring his heart out in front of the class and couldn't help myself from shooting him dirty looks for the remainder of the lecture.
So why did I choose to write about him? I'm in college now, I've had TONS of people annoy me in this manner before, if not worse! What makes this guy special enough to make me write about him? The impression be leaves behind.
Over the summer, the United States courts finally did the right thing and legalized gay marriage in all 50 states. This was an incredible victory for the gay community, and I wish I could have gotten myself to post something before I went to work that day, but I couldn't. After the initial excitement and tears and feelings had been gradually eradicated, I couldn't help feeling like we still aren't where we need to be. No doubt, we passed an incredible milestone and have come a long way, however, our fight and struggle are not over. We still have battles of stigma we need to fight. What about our Transgender brother and sisters? What about the youth that kill themselves and struggle with the knowledge that coming out could mean dire repercussions and exile from family and friends. What about that guy that doesn't know that being gay doesn't have to change who you are?
What makes this guy different from anyone else to me is the impact that he has on other people's meaning of what it is to be gay. I remember my dad and my assistant manager talking about how "all gay guys are catty and throw themselves out there, etc." What this kid is doing is proving to some people that that stigma is true. He's showing how we only care about ourselves and be obnoxious, etc. Guys like him make it hard for guys like me who come out because we don't want to be stigmatized that way just because we're gay.
Standing on the inside, however, I understand and know that it shouldn't be looked at that way, but sadly, it is. I know that he shouldn't be looked at as a spokesman for gay people, but when the population is scarce and uncommon, that's what happens. He didn't ask to be, just like I didn't ask to be, but we are; the difference is, I plan to use it to benefit the community.
As I continue to write and rant, I can see how my arguments can sound kind of weak and may seem like I'm picking at straws, but to me, that's what I see. It's what racist people see whenever they see that ONE black guy act obnoxious, and that's what bigots and ignorant people will see when they see him. No matter where we go or what we do, we are constantly being watched and constantly being stigmatized. It is our job to turn that into a proactive thing. I'm not saying to change who you are as a person, because trust me, I am far from perfect! What I am saying is watch what you do and where you do it, because it can sometimes be your footprint that people find.
That's my rant for the day. I'm still deciding on if I want to confront this kid publicly or do I want to do it gracefully and pull him to the side. The problem is that this kid isn't going to take me seriously unless I make an impact, but I have to remember that this is college and that things don't work out as easily as they should. Let me hear your guys' input, I'd love to hear what you guys think.
Enjoy your weekend,
~Be Breezy ~
No comments:
Post a Comment