Going Away...

I'm sorry guys, I'm going to go away for a while. I just have too much on my plate, too much to handle, and too much going on. I'm sorry to leave you guys like this, but.. umm.. JUST KIDDING! I would never! At least not for a while... Take a seat and listen to what this bear cub has to tell society!

Now, I'm not virtually going away, but I am physically. Whilst picking out colleges, I made sure the colleges in my decisions were away from home... Far away. So why am I telling you this? What does this have to do about being gay? Well my little fags and hags, this is also just a rough draft to what I might write into my essay for another college, but also to collect my ideas as to why I want to leave, and being gay has a lot to do with it...

So the schools I mainly wanted to go to were West Virginia University, Boston University, and North Carolina State University. All equally as far away from home. Why so far? I needed to find myself. I needed to explore and see what was out there in the world and see that I can handle it on my own. It gives me the chance to be independent. It gives me the opportunity to make every decision on my own and without anyone's supervision. It gives me leeway to grow up.

My brother started college close to home. He goes to college one exit away from us, therefore, he also stays home. This keeps him under my parent's watch and under their thumbs. While staying home for college, he doesn't get the same opportunities as I will. He won't get to explore much, he's lived here for the past 11 years! He won't get the chance to make executive decisions for himself because he'll have to pass through the whole, "you love under my roof, so you'll have to follow my rules!" Statement, which just ruins everything. He can't do much without our parents breathing down his neck.

But if I go away, if I wanted to try something, I could do it. If I wanted to stay out late, I could do it. If I wanted to sleep over a friend's house or even have a boy over, I could do that. If I wanted to explore the town at all hours of the night, I could do that! And if I want to pierce my ear, I could do that too! And who would I have to go through? No one. I'll be my own parent. Making decisions for myself.

Now comes the real reason.. I must go away to find myself. Finding yourself as a person is the hardest thing for anyone to do and it sometimes it takes people more than four years of college to figure out who they are. But the only way you'll find who you are as a person, is to go out and experience things. You'll never find out that you like skydiving of you stay at home listening to mommy and daddy tell you thats too dangerous. And never mind that, you'll never know you like skydiving if you don't go somewhere to try it!!!

College is more than just learning about what you want to do for the rest of your life. It's about finding what's best for you on your own. Your parents will want you to be the best that you can be, but what if their opinion of the best, isn't what you want? Then you have to break away from them and find out what is the best. And that's what I'll have to do.

My parents think they know everything, but they don't. They are ignorant. I hate to say it, but It's true. I can't be me or make experiences out of that. I have to find my own answers to everything and break down my own ignorances, which I can only do by going out and seeking out everything that I need to shape me as a better person.

Along with finding myself comes being gay. I can find a community who will accept me. I won't have to worry about my parents meeting this person or how they feel about this guy, because they won't have a say. I can go make friends who understand my feelings and can talk me through them. Make brocubs and bromances. I can go to the bear events and make friends and have the possy of gays that I've always wanted. I could meet and date great guys or girls and not worry about who sees me.

I can completely recreate myself. I can kiss a girl without contradiction. I could eat cheese without everyone questioning. I could wear bunches of colors and wonder if that is still me. I'll be in a completely different crowd and different world that doesn't know Kaseem Parsley, and I'll have to show them who I am according to my own independent choices that I'll make.

My parents seem to be the main reason I need to get away. That and the area. I just need somewhere to explore and not be questioned about the things that I do while exploring. I don't need to have someone telling me what I can and can't do and what is and isn't right. And I don't need repetition and familiar views. I need spontaneity and variety. I need freedom and understanding. I need to go away.

So now that I've written this out, I still don't really know if I might write this for my essay. I'll read it to a couple people and see what they think. Thanks for listening and reading. Feel free to comment your college experiences and what you did and didn't like about going away to college. This cub is going to relax for the rest of the day away from school and work and and hope tomorrow isn't too bad. Everyone have a good night and explore something!

~Be Breezy!~

Misunderstood

Happy new year everyone! I know It's been such a long time since I've written and that mainly has to do with my fear of getting back into it. I don't want to write something until I have a complete understanding of it and it speaks to me. Generally right before I end up writing, the thoughts all hit me at once, but then comes the fear of making it a good post at that. But they are thoughts that must come out and must come to the light. And without further ado Misunderstandings.

So it all just kind of hit me today, while washing dishes. My first idea of being misunderstood all came back with my post about misconceptions. They both kind of go together. These misconceptions happen because of these misunderstandings and they will continue to happen until someone speaks out against them. These lies and hurtful comments will continue to be told unless we tell them the truth and we be confident and proud of it. What proof do I have of this? Miley Cyrus.

Miley Cyrus is a famous singer/actress. She was mainly known for her role as Miley Stewart/Hannah Montana on Disney channel, but now she is known as the girl who hit the tabloids and Hollywood with a wrecking ball and she won't stop. I kid and play fun with her songs, but this is where it started. A couple years after her show on Disney channel was cancelled she soon barged back into the public eye like a wrecking ball. This lead her to be misunderstood.

She confesses to her father and to the public that she is no longer Hannah Montana, but this new adult and R rated Miley Cyrus. I get it, she wants to have fun, she wants to be herself. She didn't want to be settle, she wanted to reach new limits and show that she was going to be somebody in the generation. And she did it. But what went wrong here? After she showed that it was her party and she could do what she wants, sipping from red cups and sweaty bodies everywhere, twerking all over Robin Thicke at the VMA's, the public saw this as Miley Cyrus going crazy.

They thought she was going to be another washed up Disney star who gave into drugs and was ruining her life... *cough* *cough* Lindsay Lohan... And this was the start of it. But then, after her single We Can't Stop was settling down, she came out with another song called Wrecking Ball, which I admit confused me at first, but now I think I'm starting to understand.

I was one of those people who judged Miley, solely on what she was recently doing and not what she was saying and when I seen Wrecking Ball, I thought she was truly insane! I thought she was just going nowhere. But then I listened to the song again and watched the music video... She touched me. In that moment, I understood everything that she had been doing. She wasn't insane, she was showing that she had changed and she was going to be somebody more than Hannah Montana. Wrecking Ball was her way of apologizing to everyone. She didn't mean to hit everyone with the news that, "Hey, I'm not a virgin anymore and I drink and party all night with mac miller and Frizzy! Ooh kill em ooh! #twerkteam!" She didn't mean to barrage us all with the new her, and she's sorry.

Why did I choose this to write about? Why did this touch me so much? Because sometimes when coming out and someone doesn't accept us at first, this is almost exactly what It's like. That moment when you sit your loved one down and you let them know who you really are and this is how you're going to live your life, you are basically throwing it at them all at once and it is not an easy thing to process. I always jump to think, well why should it matter, I'm still me! Yes, but you are me in a different view now, which is going to take some new understandings. So like I said, when a lie or misconception comes up, break the misconception.

So moral of the story is, be understanding of where people are coming from, no matter what it is they may be doing, because chances are, it wasn't easy for them to bring out. Now everybody put your hands in the air! Ok, no more Miley puns... Good night everyone, enjoy your snowdays!

~Be Breezy!~