Everything is gay

So I'm in target right now and I was just browsing around and I walk upon the book section. I had been telling myself for a while that I wanted to get myself into more reading. It just seems distinguishing, fun, and relaxing. But if I were to start reading, it would have to be something I'm interested in. Only one thing comes to mind... A little while ago I was searching for books to read and again, only one thing of interest came to mind.

A little while ago I wrote a post called Why is it always the gay where I explained how everything bad that happens to me I happen to blame on being gay. I think I found a little bit of an answer to that. I think It's more than just I'm blaming my bad luck on my homosexuality, the only thing I'm really interested in is homosexuality! Everywhere I go, that is the main thing on my mind. It's almost like I have an obsession with it.

I don't know what it is about being gay. I am just so fathomized by it. The stories on how people figured out who they were. The rejections, the acceptions, the coming process in general! It's one thing that I am attracted to guys and all I can think about is guys, but I feel the need to involve it in my everyday life. The people I watched on YouTube when I was first coming out used to say being gay is just a little piece of you. It is not everything about you. For me It's the opposite! It's a huge part of me! Shapes my character, who I wanna be around, who wants to be around me, my thought process, and my social conversation.

I try not to talk about it a lot because I know a lot of other people don't care nor do they wanna hear about it, but truth is, I love talking about it! I love writing, learning, and reading anything that has to do with it! Not even a lot of gay people like talking about it that much. They feel it is just a little piece that they just glide on over. But me, It's more than just that. It is a huge part of my interests. Like I said, it shapes who I am as a person right now.

Is this a problem? I guess the answer's yes and no. Everyone has their obsession and mines happens to be my sexuality. But I can't let it be everything about me because that's how you turn people away. If some people don't want to hear it, I just have to respect that and move on. But it is an interest of mine and it's fine that I like to read and learn about it! It shows passion and drive! This could even be a sign of me brig a future activist! Who knows?!

Anyways, thanks for reading. Just thought I'd post a thought while I wad waiting for my shift to start and meanwhile it did kill a little time, I still got another 51 minutes... Shoot me..

Cub Vs. Guy Talk

You know that conversation that you have with your group of friends about how she looks cute? Or in girls' cases, he looks cute. Or how your friends talk about how they'd like to fuck this person in this position and run your toungue all over. That's what I'm talking about. Now, I'm calling it guy talk because I'm a guy and my issue mainly deals with guys. Not to say that females don't do this, because they probably do, I'm just more familiar with my bros doing it.

Every guy does this. They get comfortable and get raunchy. Which is fine! We all have sex, it ain't nothin to hide! We all masturbate; again, nothing to hide! And guys have thrown away their shame behind these mannerisms and just decide to be open about them. When he says how he'd like to fuck her in that hole with his finger here, he knows someone else was gonna say it anyways or they were gonna say it about somebody else.

My issue with this is when It's my turn. I have a lot of guy friends, most of which are straight. I don't mind you guy talking with me! Shit, I'll probably gas it up and join in! But when I start guy talking, I expect the same! I hate how I'm generous enough to listen and tag along in your guy talk and you dismiss mines! What, I can't be open about my sex life? Or lack of...

In this gay-themed movie called "Weekend", one of the main characters brings this up. He says how people are ignorant about what we do because we don't talk about it. And if they (straight people) get to be open about their sex, why can't we?! That's society's way of oppressing us. So with that, we should be open about our sex!

Now, I'm not too comfortable talking about me getting fucked or fucking him or anything like that, but I expect guys to be ready to listen ad I've listened to them. Just like one of my friends. He loves to talk about how he talks to all these girls and he never once asks me about how I am with guys. He never even considers it, and when I'm ready to talk about it, he has nothing to contribute to conversation! I understand that he is not too accepting about guys dating guys, but It's called being considerate. If I have to listen to you go in about girls, then you have to listen to me go on about guys!

This is kind of a short post, but It's ok. Feel free to add in your thoughts in the comments. Thanks for reading and I hope everyone has an awesome pride weekend!

Cub Vs. Religion

Ok, so this is a hard thing to challenge. I'm going to piss some people off, but hey, this is my blog right?! Why is religion so hard to challenge? Because it is something that cannot be proven. Religion is something that is solely internal. Nothing is based off of fact. This is especially challenging for me because of this. I am one of those people where I need to see it to believe it. Sometimes... It was one thing as a kid and believing in stuff, but I grew out of that. But something that just popped into my head contradicted that statement.

When I was a kid, I remember watching The Santa Clause with Tim Allen. In this movie, Charlie says something to him that just struck me: "Have you ever seen a million bucks? Tim: "No." Charlie: "Just because you haven't seen it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist!" Which brings me back to my initial point of, it just can't be proven.

Another thing that makes this hard to challenge is the comprehension. The bible/Torah etc. Are all so hard to understand! You may understand it in one way, and it turns out to mean something completely different! Someone just posted on my instagram about how in the bible it says Leviticus 20:6 A man shall not lie with another man or he shall be stoned. That could be comprehended to mean gays must be high! I joke, but I'm also serious. People take things into different perspectives. Which is religion is a topic best to be left alone.

My problem with religion? Personally, me and religion never got along. It always seemed to keep people in fear and stop them from doing or thinking things they would normally do/think. I have friends for example who are very religious. They would not marry someone outside of their religion. Now, I an in no way saying there is anything wrong with that, but to me it seems utterly ridiculous! Just because she/he doesn't believe in your God she is somehow not worthy of your love? If there was no such thing as religion, then she would have an equal opportunity! Also, one of these friends said he felt bad about the sexual thoughts he had been having towards girls. Because (now I don't know the true line, but I'm paraphrasing) he shall not be lead by temptation. That's fucking ridiculous! Everyone has sexual thoughts! To deny those thoughts because someone who may or may not be real said that isn't right?! That sounds like your being more of a follower.

Which brings me to my next problem with religion. I am no follower. So I refuse to live my life according to some "higher being" and he may not be right or real. Who is he/she to tell me that I can't have sex before marriage? Who is he/she to tell me that I may not lie with another man?! I am my own person and I lead my life. I do not follow anyone. ESPECIALLY if he/she has no proof of it being wrong or anyone has any proof of this person being real.

So these problems I have with religion already put me on a bias about it. But even without those biases, it still has no place to be brought into a political argument. Why? Because it can NOT be proven. When people bring up God in a debate about homosexuality and say that he said that it is a sin, I want to burst out into a rant! Much like this... Because, how do you know he said that? Oh, because some man INSPIRED by this man wrote it down? Over 5 or so milleniums ago when there was no real written language and it was converted into a bunch of different languages where they don't necessarily have the same meaning? Oh... Ok. That makes perfect sense.

Fuck that! I am supposed to lead by that?! Not even by a man who MET this "God" and heard him preach that being gay was a sin?! And even if he heard this "God" preach that, who's to say he was right?! But for the sake of argument, let's say this happened. Who's to say that that's what he really said?! The written word has been changed so many times through language conversion and word of mouth that it could've said anything! And it was so long ago, how do you know if he really meant homosexuality in the general sense it means today?! It could have meant something completely different! It was so long ago, homosexuality probably wasn't even thought of, never mind it being thought of as being a problem! And the fact that people would still rather follow that than go for what America truelly stands for completely astounds me.

And that's what truelly eats at me and stops me from really liking religion. Because people are so quick to believe some dusty old book of stories rather than believe what's right in front of them: LOVE. Some people will quickly forget that we stand for a country of EQUAL opportunities. My main rights are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Not life under God, liberty if God said it was ok, and God's view of happiness. Why stop me from my GOD GIVEN rights as a human being because of something that cannot be proven? But I bet you I can prove that man kneeling down on one knee proposing to the man in front of him, loves him. I bet you I can prove that lesbian couple promising to stay together in sickness and in health, truelly love each other. You know what's great proof of that? The fight. The fight we have endured. We have lost countless family members, friends, work opportunities, etc. All because we were fighting for the right to love. If this was just a phase, why keep fighting? You can't prove to me that he didn't intend for us to win these fights. Because as you guys love to say, "God doesn't make mistakes."

Thanks for listening everyone. I hope I didn't piss off anyone too bad. My only goal was to open people's eyes, but by all means, fight me on it. But unless your God comes down to my face and proves he's real, your wrong. Until then, we'll keep winning battles of love. And if there really is a God, you know how I know he is ok with this? Because of our victory just the other day with marriage equality in California and the destruction of DOMA. There's your proof.