I'm sorry guys, I'm going to go away for a while. I just have too much on my plate, too much to handle, and too much going on. I'm sorry to leave you guys like this, but.. umm.. JUST KIDDING! I would never! At least not for a while... Take a seat and listen to what this bear cub has to tell society!
Now, I'm not virtually going away, but I am physically. Whilst picking out colleges, I made sure the colleges in my decisions were away from home... Far away. So why am I telling you this? What does this have to do about being gay? Well my little fags and hags, this is also just a rough draft to what I might write into my essay for another college, but also to collect my ideas as to why I want to leave, and being gay has a lot to do with it...
So the schools I mainly wanted to go to were West Virginia University, Boston University, and North Carolina State University. All equally as far away from home. Why so far? I needed to find myself. I needed to explore and see what was out there in the world and see that I can handle it on my own. It gives me the chance to be independent. It gives me the opportunity to make every decision on my own and without anyone's supervision. It gives me leeway to grow up.
My brother started college close to home. He goes to college one exit away from us, therefore, he also stays home. This keeps him under my parent's watch and under their thumbs. While staying home for college, he doesn't get the same opportunities as I will. He won't get to explore much, he's lived here for the past 11 years! He won't get the chance to make executive decisions for himself because he'll have to pass through the whole, "you love under my roof, so you'll have to follow my rules!" Statement, which just ruins everything. He can't do much without our parents breathing down his neck.
But if I go away, if I wanted to try something, I could do it. If I wanted to stay out late, I could do it. If I wanted to sleep over a friend's house or even have a boy over, I could do that. If I wanted to explore the town at all hours of the night, I could do that! And if I want to pierce my ear, I could do that too! And who would I have to go through? No one. I'll be my own parent. Making decisions for myself.
Now comes the real reason.. I must go away to find myself. Finding yourself as a person is the hardest thing for anyone to do and it sometimes it takes people more than four years of college to figure out who they are. But the only way you'll find who you are as a person, is to go out and experience things. You'll never find out that you like skydiving of you stay at home listening to mommy and daddy tell you thats too dangerous. And never mind that, you'll never know you like skydiving if you don't go somewhere to try it!!!
College is more than just learning about what you want to do for the rest of your life. It's about finding what's best for you on your own. Your parents will want you to be the best that you can be, but what if their opinion of the best, isn't what you want? Then you have to break away from them and find out what is the best. And that's what I'll have to do.
My parents think they know everything, but they don't. They are ignorant. I hate to say it, but It's true. I can't be me or make experiences out of that. I have to find my own answers to everything and break down my own ignorances, which I can only do by going out and seeking out everything that I need to shape me as a better person.
Along with finding myself comes being gay. I can find a community who will accept me. I won't have to worry about my parents meeting this person or how they feel about this guy, because they won't have a say. I can go make friends who understand my feelings and can talk me through them. Make brocubs and bromances. I can go to the bear events and make friends and have the possy of gays that I've always wanted. I could meet and date great guys or girls and not worry about who sees me.
I can completely recreate myself. I can kiss a girl without contradiction. I could eat cheese without everyone questioning. I could wear bunches of colors and wonder if that is still me. I'll be in a completely different crowd and different world that doesn't know Kaseem Parsley, and I'll have to show them who I am according to my own independent choices that I'll make.
My parents seem to be the main reason I need to get away. That and the area. I just need somewhere to explore and not be questioned about the things that I do while exploring. I don't need to have someone telling me what I can and can't do and what is and isn't right. And I don't need repetition and familiar views. I need spontaneity and variety. I need freedom and understanding. I need to go away.
So now that I've written this out, I still don't really know if I might write this for my essay. I'll read it to a couple people and see what they think. Thanks for listening and reading. Feel free to comment your college experiences and what you did and didn't like about going away to college. This cub is going to relax for the rest of the day away from school and work and and hope tomorrow isn't too bad. Everyone have a good night and explore something!
~Be Breezy!~
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